Moving, depression, and Linkin Park

So the last week and a half I have been getting ready to move across country, let me tell you the stress is crazy. My husband and I are doing okay I guess….I mean..it is what it is. Maybe one day we will figure our shit out. So last night which would be day time in the states, I found out about Chester Bennington, now I have known about Linkin Park since they came out.

I have always loved them, I have always loved Chester, his life story was very similar to mine and I always connected with that. I battle depression so much and I can’t even explain to someone what it is like…the closest thing is drowning. You literally feel like you’re drowning in your own mind. It kills me to know it got the best of him, I’ve been there so many times, I’ve wanted to do it. People will call him selfish, a coward, but I’ve been there. He just wanted the thoughts to stop, he wanted the pain to just shut off. We will never know truly why he did it, we will never know those thoughts in his mind. But fuck another music legend is gone because of depression, a man who I looked up too for so long…is gone. A band that has gotten me through so much now is torn apart and probably will never be again, today I wish the world and the people within it were better. We all could be better..for eachother..and for ourselves.

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